


Centrefold

by Todospace



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, I'm sorry Jean, M/M, Sad, angsty fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 17:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2159541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Todospace/pseuds/Todospace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren has seen Jean kiss his blades when he's scared that <em>something</em> might go wrong, so he picks up on to that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Centrefold

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to this while reading please, it will make much more sense. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tl6z3Gbyn-A

 

In less than a seconds Jean feels his world come down. He’s head replay’s each memory shared with the human that’s been tossed away by a titan.

* * *

Whatever they had didn’t start well. Fight since they had met, mostly around their different ways to see the world. Deep inside both knew it was beyond that, it was some kind of jealousy. Jean wanted the spark in Eren’s eyes, the unstoppable desire to change things. Eren sought the rationality of Jean’s thoughts, his want to keep being alive. But that was one of the many unspoken rules between them, never saying something that could later hurt.

* * *

Being able to die, disappear at any moment made human bonds weak. After a while they became pointless. What was the point in loving someone if they would just die the next day?

It would only hurt.

So whatever they had, whatever they felt, was always left unsaid. 

Sometimes Jean wanted to mouth the words ‘I love you, suicidal bastard.’ And Eren liked to think that someday, after all battles had come to an end, he’d be able to say ‘I love you too, horseface’.  
The days passed by, and such a time seemed to never come, but it didn’t matter as long as by the end of the day they could crawl in each other’s bed, enjoy to company of a warm and breathing body.  
In the end, no one needed to hear those words to know the meaning behind them was, among everything, truthful.

* * *

Jean feelt a light pulse on Eren's wrist. 

— You're going to be fine. — He whispers, lower than he wants to, but loud enough for the bleeding soldier to hear him. The shorter boy doesn’t reply just nods at him. Jean panics and prays for the cart to come right fucking now.

— Talk to me. Don’t you dare to shut the fuck up now. — He tries to sound angry, to make Eren react, but as tears fall down his cheeks to Eren's face his voice comes rather scared. — Answer me little shit. Just fucking talk. SAY SOMETHING TO ME EREN. — His vision is blurry from crying but his hands are busy trying to stop Eren's bleeding wound to wipe out his tears. — Eren, please. — 

The green eyed boy smiles. With what's left of his strength he grips on Jean's blade, brings it up his face and kisses it. 

— G-good luck, right? — Jean smiles the brightest he had since joining the survey cops.

— Yeah, right. — Jean pulls himself back, whips away his tears and kisses the blade Eren is still holding. — Good luck.

* * *

— YOU STUPID FUCK DONT YOU DARE DO THAT AGAIN LITTLE SHIT I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF NEXT TIME! — The words come all wrong and that's not what he wants to say, but Eren already knows.

— I missed you too, I'll die if it makes you less angry. — The last words come out as a joke but Jean cries and lays next to Eren and hugs the smaller boy strong enough to hurt his ribs. A sigh leaves both their lips.

— Shut up. — Jean rests his head on Eren chest, and it's damn uncomfortable because Jean's too tall and the bed is too small, but he can hear – feel - Eren's heartbeat and that's all that matters.

Eren's laugh comes as a cough, and after a while he says — You were the one who wanted me to talk — Jean makes a mhhpf sound at those words when Eren starts playing with his hair. — But okay, I'll close my mouth now.

And suddenly the hand on his hair stops. The heartbeat under Jean’s ear stops. Jean’s whole world stops. 

He screams, _‘ Eren no! Talk to me please! Eren! ‘_ , and clings to the body.

But the voice that comes is Armin's, causing Jean’s eyes to snap open, unsure about when they had closed. 

— Jean, stop it, Eren's been dead for weeks. He's not going to talk to you. Not anymore. Stop it please. 

And then, Jean sees the people gathered around him. He sees Armin's hand on his shoulder, keeping him still. He sees Sasha, Connie and Crista looking away. He sees the tears on Mikasa's eyes. No one makes a single sound. 

— I... — He doesn't see his tears but he feels them. All the way down through his cheeks. 

A hand pats his head, and everyone looks away, leaves and pretends nothing has happened. — Jaeger died, Bodt died, stop crying and try to not be the next. —It's Levi. His voice is cracked, but firm before he leaves. If Jean didn’t know better he’d thought it was an order, but at this rate, after everything, he knows it’s more a plea.

And when Jean is all alone again he remembers a whisper coming from scratched lips and the tears never leave Jean’s face again. 

_‘Good luck, right? Good luck and dont die '_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> Please, if you spot any mistakes let me know, my mother language is Spanish and so spelling is kinda difficult for me.  
> Opinions, Comment and Kudos are all welcome. 
> 
> Title taken from Placebo's "Centrefolds".


End file.
